Oh my god I am giddy with it. So giddy I don’t know if I want to put on Lady Gaga and Dolly Parton and dance around my room or call my friends and shout “oh my goodness I must share with you what I just saw!!!!!” So much femme magic. My heart beats, and my pulse is infected with glitter and girl joy. It is raining outside but I feel like I’m inside a bubble and it might pop but if it does I’ll fall on cotton candy and things will still be magic and shiny and metallic and reflecting each other. I fell in love, tonight. Again. I saw the dreams of what I want to be. I saw everything I want. I saw high heels, and brilliance, and passion, and vulnerability. I’ve been thinking a lot about this – vulnerability. How camp lets us always be distant, at a distance. I want to be close, so close to people. I want to feel their skin crawl. Tonight heather held us so close and it was scary and we could feel ourselves dying together.
But somehow, I feel in awe like “yes! I want to do that thing too” and not like “oh my god they are so good how could I ever live up to that??” That’s femme girl magic.
I’m giddy with giving my digits to a cute lady, one who can play music and daaaaaaance. (and now it’s going to be awkward because she won’t call and maybe she’ll see this on the internet but whatever i just want her to know she’s charming and gorgeous). I’m giddy about being surrounded by queer ladies, by femmes, by people who want to make things scream with joy and explode in a frenzy like I do. With people who are crazy and giving and who are brave enough to share that with you. People who know that the meaning of courage is being able to be fragile, too.
I want to drink 10 cups of coffee and run around singing. I want to write. I want to play in piles of tulle. I want to kiss. I want to touch girl bodies, breasts and wet cunts in my hands. I want to smile and hold hands and spin in circles until we can’t stand.
Heather and Damien and Sequinette and Princess Tiny and Miss Mary Wanna did everything I ever want to do in a performance. They used movement and they told stories but not in simple narrative and they loved us and they were tender and sincere and over the top and manic and made up and hard as diamonds and broken all at the same time. They cared about consent, and music, and laughter, and utopia, and the feminine, and the bois in the room, and dancing, and magic, and church aesthetics, and heartbreak, and love, and fucking, and surprises, and sadness, and touch, and ecstasy.
They lived in the contradictions. They played in them. Wallowed in them. Swallowed them whole. Holy fuck.
Thank you, heather and damien and sequinette and princess tiny and miss mary wanna for making my world feel so much more possible.To living the dream!

xoxox